Inspiration from Zion: This is a Love Story

“Take a look at this picture. This is my sister Carmel. Actually, this is not my sister, this is just a photo of her. What I am here today to tell you is that she is not just a piece of paper, she’s a real person and she’s still a hostage in Gaza”

When I saw Alon Gat speak at the Knesset, advocating for his sister Carmel, I was impressed by his quiet and gentle dignity. He spoke about his wife Yarden who was released in the first hostage deal and what it was like to have her returned home to him.

Yarden had heroically sacrificed herself to the invaders so that Alon could save himself and their daughter Gefen. Alon was speaking eloquently, trying to connect the listeners to the heartache of what it is like to have your loved one held hostage – and the relief and hope that flooded his family when his wife was brought back to him.

I was stunned to see him shake his head in denial in response to the family member of another hostage who told him: “But you know that if a deal is made and more terrorists are released, that means more Israelis will be murdered. You understand that this is what you are asking for right?”

Alon shook his head in denial. “No. That won’t happen.”

Unfortunately, that already has happened. Terrorists released in the first deal have already gone back to murdering Jews – but heartache makes it almost impossible to look beyond your own pain.

And the people of Israel and Jews worldwide are in terrible pain.

The recent murder of six hostages has hit very hard. Carmel Gat, 40, Hersh Goldberg-Polin, 23, Eden Yerushalmi, 24, Ori Danino, 25, Alex Lobanov, 32, and Almog Sarusi, 27.

It is easier to understand and process the murder of six people than of more than 1500 people and what that means for everyone involved. We are a tiny nation and we count every individual, every hostage is a precious diamond the nation is striving to bring back home. SIX destroyed at once is overwhelming. Each one, not a piece of paper, a picture but a real person with likes and passions, people who knew and loved them who, for the rest of their days, will have a hole in their heart.

Perhaps it was the fact that they were so close to being rescued that haunts us. Among these hostages were people whose stories we knew. Families we connected to even when we didn’t know them personally.

Carmel taught other hostages yoga in captivity, trying to distract and uphold their spiritual well-being. Alex whose wife had a baby in February, alone. She documented her pregnancy hoping to share everything he missed when he was rescued. Eden whose family shared her last call to them which ended with the gut-wrenching request: “Find me. Ok?”     

Ori Danino and Almog Sarusi’s families were more private but they too had many friends and impacted their communities. Hersh was the most high-profile of them all. We expected America to swoop in and save her citizens. Particularly after we saw his parents, especially his mother speak so powerfully on his behalf. His soft eyes and friendship with Aner Shapira made many people connect to him. We rode a roller coaster of despair and hope, specifically for Hersh. Knowing that he was taken hostage with his arm blown off made the likelihood of his survival much lower than that of other hostages. And then months later, Hamas released a video of him. He was alive and solid. Not well but alive! And then after all that, hours before being rescued, his life was snatched away by the monsters.

We put ourselves in the place of the hostages. Or their families. What was it like to be captive for so long? Their being together is small comfort – until you think of their last moments. Were they murdered in front of each other too? The forensic reports detail bodies riddled with bullets, with a final headshot. To me, this tells of the same glee the invaders expressed in hurting Jews and creating terror.

Eden, we are told was at a starvation weight of 36 kilograms (79 pounds). On Yom Kippur, when I fast, by the end of the day I feel physically ill. If I get dirty and have to wait a few hours to wash I feel terrible. To have these experiences every day for almost a year is beyond my comprehension. How can you still feel human?

This is Eden.

This is Eden, before she was murdered.

Knowing that these hostages and the others who are still alive are going through these experiences is infuriating. Being helpless to save them is enraging.

How is it possible to not drown in the emotions? To not be swept away in a sea of rage? To spiral into despair? To blame those you thought would save you? It is easier to rage at your family than at your victimizer. It is easier to demand a deal to release our family than to admit to ourselves that the only deal the enemy is willing to agree to is our complete surrender.

It is hard to see beyond the next breath.

And yet we must. It is important to remember that we are not helpless. We are doing everything to rescue our hostages and make this country safe. Our soldiers are fighting for that while those of us at home are fighting to remain stable, happy, and productive.

The fact that we are succeeding (some days more and some days less but still, succeeding) is a miracle, not to be taken for granted.   

Ours is a nation of heroes and warriors. Some are like Aner Shapira. Others are like Hersh who maintained his composure and survived against all odds, until it was no longer possible, Or Yarden who sacrificed herself to save her daughter. Others are the parents who get up every day and try to make their homes happy for their children – despite the fact that we cannot promise them safety or security.

What we can and do promise is to fight for our home. For our future and to have a future, we must win this war. The road ahead is long, difficult, and will be painful but we are the Eternal Nation and we are not afraid of the long road. We’ve been on it longer than our modern enemies have existed and we will still be here after they have been vanquished.

We are Zion, home to stay. We must remember that.